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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in lil_nomad's LiveJournal:

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Sunday, October 21st, 2007
4:37 pm
Ben's 2!!
Ben turned 2 yesterday! My, how time fly's huh!! Mason will be 5 months tomorrow. I just can't believe it. Other than that, I have nothing new or interesting to say. Happy Halloween Every one!!
Thursday, July 26th, 2007
3:11 pm
been awhile
OK! Since last post, Ben's adoptoin has been finalized.. My mom died... My brother is moving in with us... Ben's bio mom has had another son who has been placed with us for adoption but we won't know if we get to keep him until november, he is now 2 months old... I quit my hospital job and as self employed as a Doula/ Childbirth mentor.... We are buying our second home to fit our growing family... I have made an appointment to get yet another tattoo...we bought a minivan (yikes).... I've gained about 15lbs and i'm still hot ;0)....Lisa got a new job as an animal control officer for Riverside...we got another dog (against my wishes)....wow, thats a lot for 6 months, huh? thats the short version of whats going on now. I have to say, with so much change, I feel I have lost myself in the shuffle and have a strong need for stability and refocusing.. Kidless friends don't want to hang out with me anymore so i'm always lonely. I find I have next to nothing in common with the friends I do have left, they all think i'm a weirdo.. whats a girl to do.... oh yeah, and my grandmother went crazy with dimentia..

Mason's crying, gotta go!

Current Mood: drained
Monday, February 12th, 2007
7:32 am
womyn's/music festivals
There aren't any that close (that I can find) to me. Now that we have a young child (and adoption that isn't finalized) I don't want to travel too far. I think it would be nice to have some sort of small musical event locally. I wonder what it would entail ($$) and how many people would truly be interested should I decided to take on this venture.....hhmmmm....
Wednesday, February 7th, 2007
7:39 am
There and back again, My Tale
Things are going very well with our new son, Ben. He has been making great progress since he has been home. All the therapists are impressed. We are considering buying another house next year so we can open a day-care/group home for special needs children. Our orientation is in April. Yesterday was my birthday. Wow how time evaporates, huh? Ben has been home nearly 4 months. Lisa and I have been together 5 years. I am still searching for my spiritual path. Lisa is getting a new job in March. Lisa and I are having a Mardi Gras themed birthday party on th 17th. For those of you who may be interested, email me for directions to our house!! This new year seems to be starting out wonderfully(besides al the global warming related odd weather and demoic acid poisened birds). I hope all of you are getting off to the right start as well.

Cheers,

Amber
Friday, November 17th, 2006
7:46 pm
what Holiday is it again?
GEEZ, what happened to "Thanksgiving" ? There's x-mas music on the radio and red and green crap all througout the stores. It was Just Halloween yesterday.. wasn't it? Its gonna be cool this year for Hallowthanksmas. Ben makes everything even that much more grand. HE is so wonderful! He has the sweetest personality. He is always so playful and flirty. He's so damned cute. .He has his moments (Oh, brother does he have his moments) but its nothing compared to his smile. The world could end tomorrow and I wouldn't even realize it because I would be so entrapped in his gaze.

Current Mood: amazed
Friday, October 6th, 2006
9:51 am
Our son is coming home!!! YAY! Next week! OMG, can't even beleive it. I am going to be a mamma. YOu should see this littl guy. He is beautiful. He could look like a troll and I would still think he as beautiful though!

Current Mood: bouncy
Friday, August 25th, 2006
9:45 am
Baby Crossroads, ethics and humanism
So the child we were supposed to be placed with fell through at the last moment. I find myself thinking, if we had just inseminated, I would have a child in my arms right now. Enter my ethics. I can't decided on what to do. I feel like I have a duty to our community and humaity to make a difference in this world, not matter how small the part. Sure, we can adopt a beautiful healthy newborn child ($$$$$). We rather adopt what society calls "difficult placements (which by the way includes all black children over 3). Our license expires in April. Do we renew? Do we inseminate? do we just keep waiting?. Maybe we should just switch to fostering and let the powers at be take our lives into their hands. Maybe we should do both? Inseminate while we're waiting? I dunno. I love birth. I love babies. However, I have a deep rooted feeling, deep in my soul, that I was not meant to birth children. I was meant to love children nurture them. I was meant to take care of mothers. I want to make the world understand that birth is natural. It isn't a medical procedure, it shouldn't be treated as one. It should be treated as an illness with 'necessary' interventions. So, do we renew our license? Do we inseminate? Or both?

Current Mood: overwhelmed
Sunday, July 23rd, 2006
4:40 pm
Adoption almost over!!
Well, we will have a child in 2 weeks. However, we don't know which child. Next week some time we go in for a disclosure meeting. This is where th tell us the full history and background of the children, frm there, we pick which one we want. We know for sure that one of the kids is being offered to us. The other child we will find out about tomorrow. We may not get offered him. If that is the case, it will be an easy decision, the only child available. If we do get offered the second child, we have some soul searching to do...

Current Mood: hopeful
Sunday, July 2nd, 2006
2:06 pm
Adoption stuff
OK, about 6 weeks ago there was a little boy who we wanted to adopt and we were passed up- from our understanding- it was because we're gay. This was told to us through so many words. Well, that adoption fell through at the last minute and he is now available again. Now adoptions have to go to a committee, a panel of 5-8 people who vote on the welfare of the child rather than just the childs social worker makng the decision. This means we have a better chance. Wish us luck!!
Tuesday, May 2nd, 2006
10:52 am
WE'RE DONE!!!!!! thank god
Today,we officially finished all of the pre-adoption beaurocratical hullabaloo. Its DONE. No more paperwork until we actually get a placement (and no, we have no idea when that will be). So now, we are just waiting for the phone call saying they have a prospective placement for us. If we do not get a placement w/in one year, we have to continue taking foster classes to keep opur license which is required for county adoption. I feel about 200lbs lighter. The stress is finally gone. There is still much stress present because of other things but not for this. It took 7 months from start to finish to get to this point. 7 MONTHS! We had out first orientation in November 2005. Paperwork was lost (several times),classes were missed. This accounts for some of the extra time. We missed an insane amount of work at least a full paycheck each, which tapped all of our savings. I wasn't sure I was going to survive this process. I feel so good right now. Now, its just a waiting game.. tick tock..... tick tock.......

Current Mood: ecstatic
Saturday, April 22nd, 2006
9:02 am
YAY
We're almost done!! We will be done in two weeks. I am soooooo glad!! We have our second home inspection on May 2nd. Then its just finalizing all of the paperwork. This doesn't mean we get a kid yet, it means we are eligible for one. So there is still more waiting involved.

Current Mood: happy
Wednesday, April 5th, 2006
8:48 am
What life brings
In 2 weeks starts the onslaught of home study meetings for the adoption. This passed 2 weeks have been pretty killer, like, in a bad way. My uncle died, whom I was very close to. We were supposed to go to Dinah Shore week, but spent that vacation time in mourning and at his funeral. We did take my lil cousin to Sea World though, that was fun. We decided to give our new puppy to our Aunt in Texas. Her dog died about 6 months ago and we already have 2 other dogs. I am going to miss her! My grandmother is moving to Texas to be with her sisters since her son is dead. He had sickle cell anemia so she stayed around just to take care of him. We found out the little boy we really wanted is being adopted by another family. We found out a sibling set that was our second choice had more problems than we were originally led to believe. We decided we couldn't handle all of their issues because we would be alone. My mother and psuedo mother are both moving out of state within a year. So now we will have no one. This has been a time of losses for us. Time is being filled with ups and downs. Ain't that the way it always goes? I have alianated many friends because I have been so caught up in it all. Now Ijust feel alone. Its difficult to get back up, dust of your knees and start again. It feels like I am standng still and I can see the whole world spinning around me at hyperspeed. I am desparately trying to wave or say 'hey!' but everything is going so fast nobody notices. I know it could be worse. I know I have been through more challenging times than this. They just haven't been so emotional. I don't know anyone else who has gone through this process before and the resourses for my area are slim. I really need to go out and get away from it all. Is that running?

Current Mood: discontent
Wednesday, March 22nd, 2006
7:31 am
Well, W have our last 3 meetings scheduled. OUr first adoption home study wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. It only took about 2 1/2 hours. The NEXT one however, is the one where they tell you what is wring with your house and why. Some houses are new, so i'm sure there are no problems. Our house....our house is 86 years old. The lay out is very simple but apparently may present a problem. I don't know what to do if that becaimes an issue. Its not like we will be able to move just because they don't like the lay out. So, depending on what they say, we would have gone through 5 months of trinings and classes, and missing work and doctor appointments, just to have them tel us "we don't like your bathroom". You laugh, but that is the room in question. Is a jack and jill bathroom. The only way to access it is through a bedroom. This turns our bedrooms into "hallways" and not bedroom at all according to their rules.. WHAT-EVER

Current Mood: worried
Thursday, March 16th, 2006
5:51 pm
yet another day in the adoption process
Today we had our FIRST home study. It wasn't what I expected it to be. There was an interview and a quick walk through of our home. It took about 2 1/2 hours or so. At this meeting, we discovered there are actually TWO home studies. The next one is with the licensing clerk. She is the one who is going to go through our drawers and make sure everything is child friendly. So now we have that wonderful time to look forward to. After that, we have to more meeting with our homw study worker, which will be approximateley 4 hours each. This part of the process will most likely take about a month.. a very, very, long month...

Current Mood: pleased
Sunday, February 5th, 2006
7:56 am
Birthday Partee
Lisa and I are having a joint b-day partee on 2/18/06 around 8 pm. I would like for some of my LJ buddies to show! Some of you I have already met in person, but some I have not. Get in touch with me, via email and i'll send you directions and my digits
Sunday, January 29th, 2006
2:35 pm
An update on our lives..
Gosh, things have been busy! Well, we started out fost/adopt classes earlier this week. That means we should have our fostering license in about 2 months. Becausewe are adopting from froster care system, we have to do this prior to being eligible to adopt. Lisa did our taxes already. We are using a part of our return to buy a vintage travel trailer. Actually, we already bought it. Its really cute! Ithink we're gonna give it a route 66 theme. We decided we DEFINATELEY want to try to adopt a sibling group of 2 children... Lets see.. what else.. Umm, Lisa and I botyh have birthdays next month. We are having a little get to-gether on the 18th of feb. Thats pretty much it. I spend ALL my time either trying to prepair the house for our inspection, working on schoolwork, or just working in general. I feel like I never do anything else. I guess I never DO do anything else. I suppose I should get used to it, eh?

Current Mood: drained
Saturday, December 3rd, 2005
1:34 pm
2 weeks
In two weeks I start planting. This coming week, I design my hardscape, build it. I am havng my trees trimmed and my roof repaired. I am knocking down a 5 foot block wall, and build a 6 foot wodden fence. This is a busy (and expensice) week for us! I have to say, I am so lookig forward to the designing of the hardscape. I am going rock oicking tomorrow. Also, when they trim down the trees, they are leaving the big logs and I am going to use them in my design and walk ways.. I am afraid to use the chainsaw to cut the rounds so Lisa is gonna do it. I am also going to take a sledge hammer to the walk way and drive way. I plan on reusing the concrete chunks to make a faux flagstone path (a lil paint, and sealant ;should do the trick). I am taking progress report pics, but i'll prolly never post them!

Current Mood: happy
Monday, November 21st, 2005
2:10 pm
baby (ies)!?!?
Okay-- Adoption application has been submitted. From here on out, its going to be all baby talk until it goes through. I am excited and scared and anxious. I am looking forward to being a mother. I am looking forward to raising and eco-conscience child. I look forward to 6 am yoga and dirty hands in the garden... The next 6 months are going to be soooo long... I feel like the day is never going to come.. Maybe everything will finish early? You see, we are going though the Foster care system so we have to do a whole bunch of stuff... We are already putting the baby room up. I should say toddler room, we're gettng a toddler. Wow.. You are all invited to the home coming party, when the day comes

Current Mood: cheerful
Tuesday, November 8th, 2005
6:45 pm
slacker
I need to get som eupdated pics... That one is almost 2 years old now. Anyway.... So I deced to paint one of our living room walls orange and paint the 2 doors on it black.. UUmm...... what else. LIsa's car is broke so we agreed that whatever dollar amount she spends on fixing her car, I get to spend on finishing my tattoos.... Oh yeah, For thanksgiving we are having all of our friends over instead of out blood relatives. They are our family. Especially our friends Michelle and Cynthia. (and my serrogate mother Diane and her son [who happens to be my ex]). Anyway, thats it

Current Mood: happy
Thursday, September 29th, 2005
9:22 am
back to school I go! I am off to become a doula, possible a midwife later down the line. we'll see how things go...

Current Mood: nervous
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