lil_nomad (lil_nomad) wrote,

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What life brings

In 2 weeks starts the onslaught of home study meetings for the adoption. This passed 2 weeks have been pretty killer, like, in a bad way. My uncle died, whom I was very close to. We were supposed to go to Dinah Shore week, but spent that vacation time in mourning and at his funeral. We did take my lil cousin to Sea World though, that was fun. We decided to give our new puppy to our Aunt in Texas. Her dog died about 6 months ago and we already have 2 other dogs. I am going to miss her! My grandmother is moving to Texas to be with her sisters since her son is dead. He had sickle cell anemia so she stayed around just to take care of him. We found out the little boy we really wanted is being adopted by another family. We found out a sibling set that was our second choice had more problems than we were originally led to believe. We decided we couldn't handle all of their issues because we would be alone. My mother and psuedo mother are both moving out of state within a year. So now we will have no one. This has been a time of losses for us. Time is being filled with ups and downs. Ain't that the way it always goes? I have alianated many friends because I have been so caught up in it all. Now Ijust feel alone. Its difficult to get back up, dust of your knees and start again. It feels like I am standng still and I can see the whole world spinning around me at hyperspeed. I am desparately trying to wave or say 'hey!' but everything is going so fast nobody notices. I know it could be worse. I know I have been through more challenging times than this. They just haven't been so emotional. I don't know anyone else who has gone through this process before and the resourses for my area are slim. I really need to go out and get away from it all. Is that running?
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